The Appearance of Clean

I debated for a long time about what to write today. Would you want my latest parenting adventure in behavior modification, a yummy sure-to-impress cupcake recipe, or the best of my secrets to a clean house? While sitting in my kitchen looking at the various piles in stages of doneness, I have opted with door #3.

While many of you may exclaim in full shock mode, "piles of stuff?! In YOUR kitchen?!" I must confess that I too, accumulate piles of c-r-a-p, crap. Now, they don't usually hang out for very long as both my husband and I are anti-clutter. We regularly walk through the house picking up stray objects on our way to some other destination. But I fully realize that some people are far more comfortable with the once a week clean sweep (pardon the pun) of the entire house. To each his own, I say. But if you are one of the people who would love to know how to keep your house clean and ready for guests at a moment's notice, read on.

I don't know if I coined the phrase "appearance of clean" or if it was passed down by my mom, but the concept is most definitely hers. I remember she once told me, if your kitchen and bathroom are clean, people will assume your house is clean. And as the master of all stay-at-home-moms, she knows everything. So even if you don't trust me, trust her. She is oh so right about this one. Most people who visit your home will not look at the floor or the dust on the blinds. But if there are dishes piled in the sink, food on the counter, or toothpaste on the mirror, that's a bit hard to ignore.

Now, I don't have a single friend who would judge me if I had toothpaste on my mirror, nor would I think any less of a friend who decided soaking the pots the night before was a better use of her time. As a matter of fact, I had a friend drop by at 9am the other day with 30 minutes notice and my only preparation was to take a quick shower. I didn't even check the other bathroom. It's possible that the kids had made a mess since the last cleaning and I assure you, she said nothing.

But like I said the other day, I am a perfectionist, which means I pride myself on being able to manage it all. I also like a clean house; it makes me feel calm and at peace with my universe. But sometimes to accomplish all this perfection, you just have to CHEAT! So here's the secret:

1. Adjust your definition of clean to really mean tidy. We all know there is a difference between a clean house and a tidy house. I have a clean house about once a week and you are exceptionally fortunate if you get to visit that day. It smells of cleaners and brand new Scentsy and everything sparkles. Every other day, I have a tidy house, or what I like to call "everyday clean." To accomplish tidy, pick up out-of-place papers and items as you walk through a room and put them away immediately. I do not recommend a catch-all basket as I have never known anyone who actually cleans it out daily.

2. Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, hand wash those you must, and wipe out your sink after every meal. Make Lysol wipes your best friend and wipe your counters often.

3. Wipe out your bathroom sink every day. Again, Lysol wipes are AWESOME!

4. If you have children, teach them to love Lysol wipes and they will handle these tasks will glee.

Now, for the really adventurous, I have two other tips:

5. If you don't have a Scentsy warmer, get one. Or three. We have 5. (Kitchen, basement, master bath, kids' bath, and Kyle's travel warmer). If you have one and don't use it, ARE YOU NUTS?!? We use our sense of smell to help us understand our surroundings. So, if your house smells clean, it is clean. Get it?

6. Make your bed every day. Now, I know this is super controversial which is why I saved it for last. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who make their beds and those who don't. Surprisingly enough, I used to be in the latter group. If you think you don't have time to make your bed, knock it off. It takes 120 seconds AT MOST to make a bed, hospital corners and all. And I have a KING! I fully respect those who just don't care about a made bed. (But please, no excuses. Just say you don't care.) But if you don't make your bed, but also strive to have a clean-feeling house, I challenge you to make your bed every day this week before you leave the house (or before lunch). After one week, see if you don't feel better about your level of clean. It works, I promise.

And that's it! If you do those things every day, your house will look and feel clean. You will be ready for that last-minute dinner guest. And it only takes about 15-20 minutes total. Happy cleaning!